Kairos

15 years ago today changed my life forever. 

There are times in our life, moments and seasons, that truly define us. I think of the day I gave my life to Jesus, I would forever be a follower of Jesus. I think of the day I married Brittany, this was a defining moment in my life, I would forever be called husband. I think of the moment Selah was born, I would forever be called Dad. Scripture uses the Greek word Kairos for these kinds of times in our lives. A Kairos is the right moment, an opportune moment, a defining moment. Kairos is judged not by the duration of time, but by the impact and value of the moment. 

The story of May 16, 2010 goes something like this...

It was the last day of a mission trip I was on in Haiti with a group from college. We had worked all week at helping our missionary partners do Kingdom work and share the gospel in their local community. It was this day that we would travel two hours up a mountain to have church with a village of people who had just recently responded to the gospel. The scaling of the mountain was so beautiful that it seemed to last a lifetime; little did I know what would occur on that mountain would leave an imprint on me that would do just that. 

Upon reaching the village we worshipped together with the local believers. Church in Haiti was quite different, in the very best ways. About three hours, mostly singing, in their best clothes that they walked miles in to come worship. After worship, time was spent meeting the medical needs of the people in the village, and saying goodbyes. The time came to descend that fateful mountain, back to the mission site for dinner and a nice conclusion to the week, but God had other plans…

As we traveled down the mountain I was tired, but joyous. Together with friends I sang to the Lord and talked about a wonderful week serving Him. The mountain that we were descending was something out of a movie. A gravel road, weaving in and out of summits, many times with a cliff drop off on one side of the road and the mountain on the other. As the descent of the mountain was nearing the end, something went terribly wrong. The truck failed. No brakes. The truck picked up speed to around 50 mph and our awareness of horror grew quickly. Ahead in the road was a sharp left curve with a steep drop off on the right. Impact was inevitable. To avoid the sharp curve that the truck would have not been able to maneuver, our driver steered the raging truck into the mountain on the left of the road causing the truck to flip on its side, ejecting the 28 passengers from the bed. As the dust settled from the gravel road, I was confronted with a scene that would forever be implanted in my mind. A scene filled with trauma and screaming that pierce my thoughts even today. 

Thoughts began to flood my mind. What just happened? Where is my passport? How are we going to get off this mountain? Will we ever get home? Are my friends going to die?.....I felt helpless. Helpless because I didn’t know what to do or how to fix the devastation all around me. The only thing I knew how to do was to sit down and pray. I prayed a prayer of desperation. Telling the Lord that I didn’t understand, but that I knew He was in control...

That was 15 years ago today...

Outside of the Kairos moments I shared earlier, there has not been a more defining moment in my life. The impact that was inevitable on that mountain 15 years ago was far more than physical, it is an impact that still leaves its imprint on me today. That imprint is what I want to share with you…

Helpless: In the months that followed, God took me back to that mountain many times. He taught me about my helpless feeling. What I learned at 21 years old was that helplessness was a picture of what the Lord wants our lives to look like. He wants us to sit down with Him, often in the devastation, destruction, and disaster of our own lives, and know that we are indeed helpless. To come to our senses and realize that we have nothing to offer, realize that we can’t do anything, realize that our only hope is to cling to Him because without Him we can do nothing (John 15:5). This helplessness is not a negative, but hope in the humility that comes in dependence upon Christ alone. 

Carpe Diem: I remember reflecting on that day and thinking about how close my life was to being over. As a 21 year old, I thought I was invincible. Of course, I knew I wasn’t, but I had a lot of life left to live, death was far in the future, a distant dot on the horizon. However, God confronted me with the reality of my own mortality. I remember thinking, “What if I had died that day? Am I really living the life that God wants for me? Am I being the most useful for Him?” It was these thoughts that propelled me to the realization that I had to live every day as if it could be my last, because I was not guaranteed tomorrow. I committed to the Lord at that moment that every day was 100% His and that I only wanted to be used by Him for the rest of my life. 

Perspective: Most years I stop and think on May 16 about my life since 2010. Thinking back has encouraged me so much to keep going. You see, time often gives us perspective that we can’t see in the moment. What seemed like a horrible accident filled with physical, emotional, and mental injuries, would actually be a God-ordained moment that changed everything for me. At that time in my life I was headed toward a teaching degree and a high school classroom for my career. Remember how I committed to the Lord that I wanted to be used as much as possible for His glory every day? I began to ask myself if a mathematics classroom would be the place I would be most useful in my life. (I’m not knocking teaching…Teaching is a wonderful career, my mom did that for 35 years, my brother teaches, my wife taught for a decade, it is certainly a wonderful career and makes an incredible impact on many lives). I was asking myself if God had a different plan, and the answer was yes. I fought the Lord for a couple years, but almost two years to the day, in May of 2012, I said yes to the Lord about surrendering to vocational ministry and serving Him in the local church with my life. Would I have made that turn without the pain of that Haitian mountain? I’m not sure. But what I do know is that one moment can have such a defining moment in your life that it can change everything. 

Because of that day 15 years ago, I surrendered to the ministry. Because I surrendered to ministry I was led to a place I would have never been, Hazel Green, Alabama. The friendships Brittany I made there, that last to this day, the lessons I was taught early in ministry, the fruit of seeing many teenagers surrender to Jesus, are irreplaceable. Because of the five and a half years of ministry in Hazel Green, God gave us the opportunity to be at Taylors FBC in South Carolina. The men of God Taylors brought into my life that showed me more about walking with Him and being a pastor than I could have imagined, the students I got to watch grow into mighty disciples of Jesus, the friendships and partners in ministry that I have now, the opportunity to attain a Masters degree in Biblical exposition, are all irreplaceable. Because of the decade I spent in student ministry at those two places, God led us to a place just 10 months ago, Morgan Baptist Church in southwest Georgia. A place that is a genuine family, a place that gives me the privilege to be Pastor, a place that we now call home and are welcoming our third child in just a few short weeks.

You see, the moment in time of pain and questioning God on the side of a mountain in Haiti, has turned into one of the most defining moments of my life. 

That day 15 years ago changed my life forever. I will forever remember that day, I will forever remember the images, I will forever have scars on my body as a reminder, I will forever remember the Lord's deliverance, I will forever remember the Lord's healing, I will forever remember the Lord's sovereignty throughout, I will forever remember the miracle that happened that day and in the days to follow...

But I am only one man, a spec on the radar, a mist in the moment, a snap of the fingers in eternity. My defining moment, that went from devastation to deliverance to destiny, is nothing without THE defining moment. The Cross and what Jesus did 2000 years ago. The fact He allowed His body to be destroyed so that we would be delivered. He took our sin on His perfect sinless body. He was beaten, tortured, and executed for you and for me, so that we could live. He defeated sin and death once and for all when He walked out of the tomb three days later, bringing the greatest perspective the world could ever know.

I thank the Lord for what He allowed me to experience in Haiti 15 years ago. I'm thankful for the lessons I have been taught. I'm thankful that He has shown me how to cherish life more everyday. Those things are all great, but if my defining moment doesn't turn and reflect light on THE defining moment of Jesus' death and resurrection, then it really means nothing!

So can I encourage you friend? If you are in a moment that seems hopeless, devastating, painful, know that it is right where God wants you to be. He may just be teaching you something that will last the rest of your life. He may just be changing your journey and your story forever. Don’t miss how he wants to define your life in this moment. Trust Him.